So, having departed the Sky Lounge at Heathrow full of gin, I happily got onto the plane that took us to Rome first, and didn’t even have my mandatory Valium (I have a terrible fear of flying), and it all went surprisingly well! Ironically, considering my previous job, we were held in the plane on the tarmac at Rome airport due to a security alert over a suspect package on another plane! Where is Blue Team when you need them???? This left us dangerously close to missing our connecting flight so there was a bit of a mad dash to the next terminal, but that flight had also been delayed 90 minutes so all was well, apart from the fact that I was frighteningly sober while facing a 12 hour flight! Anyway, I soldiered on, and bizarrely, for the first time in my life, enjoyed the flight! I felt very calm, and managed to sleep a lot of the journey! Brilliant! Another phobia overcome! No more Valium required!

comedy moment no. 1 – while getting ready to depart the plane, I took off my jacket, and whilst doing so accidentally punched the man in the next aisle in his eye! I was very amused to see him later in immigration still rubbing his eye!!

Fortunately when we arrived in Rio at 8am it was only 32 degrees!!! A taxi ride to our apartment to discover it’s the penthouse apartment on a 10 storey block! Absolutely amazing place! We were met by one of the owners, beautiful Sandra, who didn’t speak English, but we were able to sort everything out in French! So Charlotte has put me in charge of languages, while she takes command of accommodation bookings. Sounds a good deal to me! Anyway, lovely apartment with a spectacular roof top terrace, and only 5 mins walk from Copacabana beach.

It soon became apparent that I am not readily adaptable to tropical heat, so I’ve been a soggy, wet and sweaty mess ever since! After a little siesta we headed to Copacabana beach which is just incredible! I never really imagined we’d ever get there, but it’s been well worth the wait. And despite not being known for my prowess in the water I was straight in, leading within seconds to –

comedy moment no. 2 – the very first huge wave took me off my feet and I was under, drinking seawater and generally lugging. Desperately thinking to myself, Get Up! Get Up! I had a momentary gasp of relief as I managed to stand up before realising my trunks were around my ankles! Get Down! Get Down! Anyway, I recovered without too much loss of dignity! You can’t buy class like that…….

Bottoms! Everywhere you look!!!! Generally only clothed in a micro bikini thong! I think I might like it here! But some of them even make Charlotte’s bottom look small! Magnificent!

Another brilliant day and it’s only day two! It’s 9pm and as I sit on our roof top I’m still sweating…….image





The official photo taken by Green Peace at reports of a beached whale….



Sugar Loaf mountain


Today’s beer of the day


The actual beached whale, fortunately with trunks up


My beautiful wife



It’s a hard life!