I’m very proud to announce that at 14.57hrs on Saturday 7th February 2015, after 27(!!!!!!) meals, the eagle has landed! The Queen Mary has docked, and the starlings have flown! Charlotte has been to the khazi!!! After a 20 minute (!!!!) procedure, it was hailed as a great success!!! Thank god for that! Considering that I suspect most of the sewage here goes direct into the sea without being treated in any way, I would suggest that someone raises the Thames Barrier for the Atlantic surge that will be right now powering towards Europe! It seems to have also caused a cataclysmic chain of events over here – Brazil, and São Paulo in particular, has been suffering from the worst drought on record, and it’s got very serious. There are worries that running water here in SP, will be restricted to TWO days a week! But within half an hour of Charlotte’s “evacuation”, the heavens have opened to the most incredible rain and thunder storm I have ever seen! The city will be saved! And all because of Charlotte’s bowels! (Or maybe not, but in my head that’s how these things work).
Fortunately, before the storm we’d spent a full day wandering for mile after mile thru SP, in 30 degree heat, and our only event this evening will be to venture to one of the lovely bars just up the road, so all is well!
No shit Charlotte, that is a load of my mind and, I guess, yours too. Here’s to the next 8 days, bravo.
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Brilliant! Very funny Mark! As you can imagine Charlotte is not best pleased with my discussing her “issues”! Makes it all the more fun! Best wishes to you and David!
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In the words of Keith Lemon Shitang! Xx
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I don’t know how you find the time to write all your interesting stuff, but please carry on. It is very informative and fun to read.
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