Travels with Blocked Colon….

It seems that we have survived the attempted coup, and life is going on as normal. Charlotte watched it all live on Argentinian telly last night. Unfortunately for the protesters it bucketed down all night, in biblical proportions, and the police certainly didn’t need their water cannon.
Actually Charlotte was obsessed with the tv coverage, and again this morning. I think she’s fancying herself as a bit of a war correspondent, à la Kate Adie. Either that or she’s really working for our Security Services, and it’s by no coincidence that we “just happen to be in Buenos Aires”! Her service code name could be Struggling Bowel or Blocked Colon or Toilet Failure. But seeing as she’s going to read this, it’s more likely to be Beautiful Lady!
She did cook a splendid meal for us last night, including a huge portion of roasted veg! Butternut squash, aubergine, tomatoes and onion roasted in garlic and rosemary, to go with roast chicken! Great, super, smashing! And in the supermarket today I have found frozen broccoli! So on tonight’s menus it’s broccoli soup, followed by broccoli Thermidor with puréed broccoli, broccoli spears, diced broccoli, and jus de broccoli. Dessert is broccoli brûlée, washed down with a broccoli liqueur. What could be better! (And it might help Charlotte’s tummy which is heading for a new blockage world record….)
Tomorrow is an important day – we’re off to the hairdressers! This is something Charlotte arranged while still in England! She Googled the situation and has found an Irish lady living here in BA and working as a coiffure of heads. This fills me with dread and foreboding as I know how much this sort of thing can affect any woman. I will accompany her there, and while it’s being done (about 2 hrs?) I will find a small bar to sit outside and watch the world go by while allowing my hair to continue growing! At least when she’s finished I should be in a nice mellow mood!
Today has been fun! We opted to take an open top bus tour of Buenos Aires. Now, we very much like our bus tours of large cities but we’d been slightly put off this one by very poor internet reviews. However, we thought we’d see for ourselves, and parted with £45 for two 24hr hop on-off tickets. (To put this into context, this has been our biggest single expenditure for quite some time)
We realise now where this tour company have been going wrong – they’ve been advertising in the Tourism section rather than the Comedy section! It started from our boarding point. We were at the front of the queue, and the conductor held everyone back saying he had only room for two, so on we got. To a 90% empty bus! Very strange, we thought. All the others were told to wait for the next bus.
The driver had obviously been to the Brazilian school of bus driving as this was a “hold onto your hats ride, as I’m bloody going for it”! We flashed by all the sights! And we weren’t helped by the commentary on our headphones either – I’m presuming there was some sort of CD set to play at specific points of the tour, but I can only think that someone had put it on shuffle play! It just didn’t make sense! At one stage it even said “And we have just passed the theatre so-and-so…..”! Just passed???? What use is that???? We were trying to follow it on the map provided to us by the tour company, but unfortunately the driver was working from a different map and paying scant attention to the designated route.
Bizarrely, the few other passengers kept moving from seat to seat. We have no idea why??!!! We genuinely began to think that we had been set up and expected Jeremy Beadle to pop out at any moment!
The whole thing provided us with great entertainment, but not probably of the sort which was intentioned. We managed the entire tour (3 and a half hours so good value really) with one hop-off for a beer and some food.
The side effect of our bus tour is that having spent 3 and a half hours on a bus in the blazing sun without a hat and no sun cream (I forgot, OK?) I now resemble once more a cherry tomato with crispy fried arms. My neck is like pork crackling. And just as my honey bronzed tan was coming on…..
My big disappointment today was The Kilkenny Irish Pub, advertising Guinness in the window. Generally, when abroad I avoid this sort of place like the plague, but I was gagging for a Guinness. But it turned out that the Guinness was actually “Celtic Stout Ale” brewed in Argentina! Pah! We left without ordering leaving me bereft of Guinness. Still not found it in Argentina. Not to worry though, there’s always Quilmes!

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Breakfast was particularly good today…

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Us and my hair. This is the harbour area I go running around very morning. When did Charlotte shrink????

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Charlotte says I’m going to end up looking like this. She says that as if it’s a bad thing, whereas I’d be quite happy with that!

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On the comedy bus!

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The entrance to Recoleta cemetery.

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