Today I woke up having been savaged by a mosquito during the night. A couple of enormous bites on my left thigh, and one on each elbow. I knew it was only one mosquito, as when I walked into the lounge he was sat there at the dining table. 6′ tall, fattened with my blood. Wearing a Panama hat and a white tuxedo, his tie askew as if he’d had a good night out on the piss. Smoking a huge cigar.
“Morning” I said
“Morning” he replied
“Isn’t it a bit rude to be still sat here after feasting on me?” I asked
“I know, you’ll have to forgive me. But what a night!!! Pure Quilmes running through your veins! I can barely walk let alone fly!”
We passed the time of day for a while, and then his mobile rang. It was his wife, Mrs Moz, demanding to know where he’d been all night, and obviously a little irate. Who was going to take the baby Mozs to nursery? And when was he going to get a proper job? I felt genuinely sorry for him. After a couple of strong coffees he staggered out of the apartment and hailed a cab. I told him he may as well come back tonight, but to at least have the good grace to wait until I was asleep. I’ve left the window open for him, and restocked on Quilmes.
So, today was race day. Yesterday, while Charlotte was having her hair done I happened to come across Buenos Aires race track, where I enjoyed a few pints in luxury, and even took Charlotte there after the hair was done. There weren’t any races on at the time. As well as the race track there was a Casino. I’ve never been to Vegas, but this is the same as how I imagine it – row after row after row of gambling machines, floor upon floor. Incredible! And all the windows shuttered so no one can tell what time of day it is, and smoking allowed inside! You can even smoke in the bar which is a luxury I’ve not known in England since 2007! The place was full of people, predominantly far older than us, sitting like robots at the machines. Some were even plugged in to the machines! – they had credit card style things in the machines attached to coiled lanyards attached to the people! A bit like in a gym on the running machines so that the treadmill stops if the person falls off! Was this to alert someone if they had a heart attack?? I can just imagine it in the customer service office –
“Brian, there’s been a clutcher at machine 147. Can you just nip down and mop up? And make sure he’s paid up.”
It was such a brilliant bar we stayed far too long, hence no blog last night……
Anyway, we went back today for the race meeting. Free entry into the course, and minimum bet was 3 Pesos (24p, it was a minimum of 1 peso until last year, but inflation etc….). We started off by going back through the casino. Still packed! Still the same people on the same machines! They hadn’t bloody moved in 24 hrs! (Apart from the two that had suffered fatalities. Brian had had a busy day).
I’d sent my dad a copy of the race card with all the runners and riders. Dad loves horse racing, and for him like me it’s an event and spectacle as much as a betting thing. Though it’s so much better when you have a little financial interest in it! I’d asked Dad to provide me with some winners. He replied “Paul. How do you expect me to pick winners in B A when I can’t pick a winner at Wetherby.????” Fair point. But he gamely picked horses out for the first 7 races, mainly based on names.
The first three races, Dad picked 1st place, 2nd place, and 1st place! Bloody brilliant! However, we were dining on the terrace at the time and I hadn’t had chance to put a bet on! Disaster!
So, bill paid, we rushed down to the course side, and I’m thinking “Hmmmm, Dad obviously has some strange psychic inlet into Argentinian horse racing, I’ll stick with him”. Race 4, on Dad’s advice, I go with Alta Neva. Rubbish. Still running now. Race 5 I ignored Dad’s advice to go with Frank The Bau in honour of an old, dearly departed friend of mine and Olly’s, Frank Migala. A close second, but Dad’s horse way back. Race 6, now satisfied that Dad is well and truly back to his usual losing ways, I’ve pathetically gone for the odds on favourite, only to have it thrashed by my dads outside ranker! He’s had 3 out of 6 bloody winners!!!! Race 7 we wanted to bet on Absent Sam in honour of our Sam. But sadly he was absent. Absent from the ability to run and withdrawn from the race, so I went for Dad’s choice of Tall Winner (which we were always going to back in honour of Ken and Linda!!!!). Tall Winner was very wrongly named, and I presume is now in a Tesco burger.
Having spent a grand total of £8.00 on 5 bets (oh I know, last of the big spenders!) we retired to the bar. But Dad, incredible! 3 winners out of 7 chosen by name and pin! Top work! A great day out, and much fun!!! Another tick off my bucket list!
We had a nice chat on FaceTime with Bruce this morning. Charlotte was in despair at the troubles two middle aged men had trying to get the timing and computer skills right, but we managed it in the end! I know I keep harping on about the miracles of modern science, but I still find it amazing! – I’m talking on telly from Buenos Aires to Bruce in Bangkok, who was watching Leeds v Middlesbrough live on Sky TV. My brain isn’t big enough to take all this in! Good to talk with old Bruce though! Although he did tell me to put ALL my money on horse 4 in the second race….. which fortunately I didn’t.
Bike hire tomorrow for the day! So must take some EPO tonight.