Charlotte The Fugitive

Last night, bloody incredible! I mean. Bloody. Incredible. We went to the Mamalluca Star Gazing Observatory and had our minds completely blown away. Probably the most amazing experience we’ve ever had. Not just on this trip. But ever! The sky was full of literally billions of stars! I’ve never seen anything like it, it was even better than in the Sahara desert. The Milky Way was spread out above us and the vastness of the universe became apparent. Our guide, an astrologer our age who obviously loved his job and taking people around the site, gave us tons of information, and it’s all just mind boggling!! 100 billion stars in each Galaxy, and so far, 200 billion galaxies found!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no way that we can be the only living things! No way!!!
We looked at Jupiter through the telescope and saw very clearly its stripes and 3 of its 4 moons. Amazing! We looked at lots of stars, or what we see from Earth as single stars, but through the telescope are actually clusters of 100s of thousands of stars! And we even looked into two more galaxies through the telescope, hundreds of  thousands and thousands and thousands of light years away! A great experiment would be to go there after smoking a spliff (I imagine) and seeing if you ever ever regain normality! An absolute massive privilege to be there, as very few observatories open to the public. My advice to everyone would be to forget everything I’ve ever written about regarding where to visit, and just come here. Even if you only have three days free, fly to Chile, come to Mamalluca, then fly home. Your life will be complete!! And all for £16 including the 90 minute bus each way! And a small packed lunch (midnight snack)! Totally mind blown!!!!
As much as I looked into the depths of the universe I couldn’t find anything to suggest that I should one day return to work, so I’ll take that as a hint….
Nor could I find any hint of Brett’s memory, which seems to have deteriorated even more as he continues to tell us the same jokes every time we speak to him….

Nor could I find any evidence of the bottom of Matt Bradley’s pockets where he keeps his money despite being able to see for billions of miles……

Right. Today was supposed to be a simple 8hr bus transfer, but once again TurBus buggered up, and cancelled the bus, but failed to tell us until 2 hrs after it was supposed to have arrived. They still have a 100% record of failing us. So after more Spanglish wrangling we got on a bus three hours later than expected, and arrived at our destination 4hrs later than expected. Two things happened on the bus, one good, one bad – the bad thing was that another of my teeth fell out while eating a cereal bar! Unbelievable! I know I have crap teeth, but this really is quite bizarre! So that’s my upper right molar gone! There’s going to be none left at this rate!!! Fortunately no pain. Yet…..
The good thing was absolutely brilliant – at about 7pm our completely full bus pulled into a police checkpoint. We’ve got used to these random searches now. The sniffer dogs were sent on the bus and into the baggage hold. Ten minutes later, a heavily armed Chilean cop came onto the bus carrying one solitary bag, demanding to know whose it was. I recognised it immediately. ” It’s hers, it’s hers” I shouted gleefully, pointing at Charlotte “She’s called Charlotte Escobar and I’ve suspected for years that she’s an international drug smuggler!” (Anything to help my foreign colleagues). And indeed it was hers. Charlotte was then marched away in front of the entire bus to be searched and have her bag searched! I shouted to her “I’ll write to you once a month!” and sat for a moment, thinking “Blimey, 30 years in a Chilean prison’s going to be really tough for Charlotte!” so being the caring husband that I am, I wandered off to see what was going on. Anyway, I needed a cigarette. And I also wanted to see the reaction on her face when a latex-gloved José told her to bend over….. Well, I’ve no idea what was in Charlotte’s bag that got the dogs so excited (answers on a postcard please) but sadly fortunately she was soon let go. Very entertaining though to see the panic on her face!
But. I know I’m paranoid, but a couple of days ago I wrote about Me putting a couple of k’s of coke in Charlotte’s bag (it actually was a joke), and then this happens. I also strongly suspect that certain people back at work, in a higher rank than me, are trying to do my legs in after helping to prove that they have acted illegally with our expenses (still owed £2,350 by West Yorkshire Police despite a court finding our claims to be proven). And also this would be a great acknowledgement of their general lack of operational experience and poor decision making. But, like I said, maybe I’m just paranoid. Though I haven’t seen the international surveillance team for a while. I think I gave them the slip on Death Road….
After a very late arrival in Valparaiso we opted for a take away pizza, and a couple of beers back at the hostel, and staring out of our window at the magnificent view from high above the bay. Apparently in the morning we will see Aconcagua, the highest mountain outside of Asia at 6,960m from our view. Nice.

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The view from our full wall size windows

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Same beer but a new bottle size! A whopping 1.2 litres!!!! It just gets better’

 

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One thought on “Charlotte The Fugitive

  1. I suspect that one of Paul’s socks tried to escape and hide in Chatlottes bag hoping to break free at some point. No doubt the poor dog was in shock having smelt the sock and collapsed, thus raising the suspicions that Fido had found a batch of the worlds strongest skunk, poor thing. However mostly explanation would be WYP.

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